Sunday 20 September 2009

Funny Misheard Lyrics

Funny Misheard Lyrics
We’ve all done it haven’t we. Thought the words to a song have been one thing and they’ve turned out to be something else completely. The technical name for this amusing phenomena is a ‘Mondegreen’. A Mondegreen is the mishearing or misinterpretation of a lyric in a song in a way that yields a new meaning to the line.

I’ve uploaded a video I put together of 12 famous songs where the words could be misinterpreted as being something else. I’ve also presented a list of other famous songs below which have suffered the same fate. Any other contributions would be welcomed and added to the
list.

Link to '12 Misheard Lyrics' video on my Youtube channel 'ScallywagsTV'.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-of6hVkQah4&feature=channel_page

John Lennon - Give Peace a chance.

Oh, we are sailing with Skippy the cat

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Robert Palmer - Addicted to Love


Might as well Face it you’re a Dick with a Glove

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Gwen Stefani - Hollaback girl

I ain’t no Harlem black girl"

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U2 - Mysterious ways

Shamu the Mysterious whale


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Michael Jackson - Don’t stop till you get enough




Im ashamed of the sound of Microsoft

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Bon Jovi - Livin on a prayer

It doesnt really matter if we're naked or not

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ABBA - Take a chance on me

Jackie Chan, Jackie Chan, Jackie Jackie Chan Chan


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Madonna - Like a Virgin


Like a Virgin, touched for the 31st time.

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Pearl Jam - Jeremy


Jeremy’s smokin Crack today.

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Bee Gees - More than a woman

Bald-headed woman... bald-headed woman to me

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Creedence clearwater revival - Bad Moon rising


Theres a bathroom on the right.
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Aqua - Barbie Girl


Come on Body lets go potty
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Bob Dylan - Blowin in the wind

The ants are my friends, its blowin in the wind.

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Elton John - Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

Goodbye Yellow Brick Road where the dark clouds decided to howl

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Jimmy Cliff - I Can See Clearly Now

I can see Claire now Lorraine has gone
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Joni Mitchel - Big Yellow Taxi



A gay pair of guys put up a parking lot

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Nirvana - Smells like Teen Spirit

Here we are now in containers
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LaBelle - Lady Marmalade

‘Bully Boot’ you say, I think ‘What? Say What?



Why Retail therapy doesn't work.




I’m Lovin it because I’m worth it!

I Can’t remember exactly when I stopped enjoying shopping. I used to love getting my wages and going on a spending spree every weekend, taking the hussle and bussle of crowded high streets and shopping malls in my stride. It all just seemed to add to the enjoyment, though it goes without saying I’ve always hated Queuing.


Even more enjoyable were my trips down the quiet side streets where independent clothes and cult music shops were hidden away from view. You could always find things which nobody else you knew had, usually at over inflated prices, but the reward was the self satisfied buzz. Somewhere along the line I lost that. More than that, the hussle and bussle of busy shopping streets became an annoying obsticle course and the buzz of purchasing became a comparative damp squib. These days my attitude is simply - get in get out and don’t look back. Whether it’s supermarkets, high streets or shopping malls I know exactly what I want before I go, I get it and I go straight home. Yet consumption has exploded and seems to have completely taken over people’s lives. How did this come about and is it a good thing?

You are What you buy.

Consumption is arguably the dominant value today within the Western world.
The growth of the media over the past 50 years from the birth of television to the multi channel product driven monster that we have today has embedded a culture within society in which products are promoted as essential determinants of your sense of self worth via a constant stream of advertising from the cradle onwards. From a young age onwards we are provided with message after message that happiness, fulfillment and even health are dependent on whether you buy this particular product.


Put simply, the message seems to be you are what you buy and success in the modern world is defined by what other people have and how you measure up. Therefore the act of purchasing the glittering array of goods at our disposal has been transformed into a mode of expression in which individuals find and express a sense of identity. The display and celebration of such goods can be seen as having triumphed over other more traditional and secure modes of expression such as religion or group affiliations in the modern world.

Rise of Technology.
This set of circumstances have been expanded and reinforced by the technological revolution over the past 25 years. However this revolution can also can be seen as being responsible for creating a situation which has led to individuals within society feeling an increasing sense of alienation from each other and from themselves. Television, computer games, the internet are all mediums in which the social can be seen as being replaced by the individual. Also, mobile phones merely serve to reduce human contact to a more shallow and superficial level as has the burgeoning use of social networking sites. Such sites reinforce the consumer approach to society as they can be seen as treating human beings as products. Like shopping, you are provided with choice, variety and disposability with avators, bio’s and sound bites working as the selling point. People, like credit cards, are available and disposable in the virtual world and for many merely serve to reduce or even replace real human contact. This, combined with the rise of individualism and weakening of social bonds through group affiliations have resulted in a widespread alienation and loss of identity for individuals within society. This serves to create a vacuum in peoples lives which they attempt to fill through the act of consumption.

Why Retail therapy doesn't work.

Attempting to fill the void through consumption can be seen as a self defeating exercise. The constant upgrading of goods from technology to fashion and even domestic products mean that todays fashionable items will soon be usurped by a new improved product making your existing version outdated and outmoded. It’s in the best interests of companies and advertisers that the consumers desires are never truly satisfied. This can also be seen in the ever expanding choice of things to buy. With such a limitless supply of goods available, needs can never be exhausted leaving fulfillment forever in the future. The same can be said of retail therapy.The implication of this term is that the act of consumption in itself works as a form of self medication and this is true to a point. Like any drug the act of shopping and the purchasing of items certainly can give you a buzz, albeit a short one. But herein lies the problem. Like all addictions, the endless search for instantaneity means on the spot fulfillment but also the immediate exhaustion and fading of interest. Addictions are self destructive as they destroy the possibility of ever being satisfied. Put simply, the consumer society approach to solve personal problems through market solutions does not and cannot satisfy the deeper human need for contact and sharing but merely creates a vicious circle of desire and consumption in which satisfaction is forever in the future and out of reach.

Saturday 19 September 2009

Internet relationships



Bigmouth Strikes Again

As a twitter aficionado I recently described people who use online dating as being a bit pathetic.
Like many I have a tendency to just write the first thing that is on my mind, usually prompted by whatever has happened or floated into view. This admittedly random piece of wholesale disregarding prompted a strongly worded message from a new but soon to be ex-follower. The general tone of this was of the 'how dare you' variety and pointed out that not all people find it quite so easy to meet people . The implication that I do find it easy was wide of the mark but it did make me want to try to Qualify my position.



From the onset it is only fair to confess that my opinions on the subject have been coloured somewhat. The fact that my 10 year marriage was recently brought to a very abrupt end due to my wife’s penchant for presenting herself as some kind of lobotomised sex line sorceress on happy pills on dating sites has gave a dim view. Personally I would rather saw my own toes off than use such a medium to solicit the sexual advances of another. There are paid professionals who can communicate in an intimate nature with complete strangers in this way and they are usually found advertising in almost redundant telephone booths, but I digress.

Born in the 1970’s, when I grew up dating services existed only as ‘Lonely hearts clubs’ in which anonymous people drew coy and rather vague pen pics of themselves in the hope of meeting like minded people. The popular conception of the participants was always that of rather sad, lonely people or of inveterate perverts (or both). The advent of the internet has certainly worked to popularise this form of dating by streamlining the process and subsequently removing much of the social stigma. I’m sure everybody reading knows somebody who uses or has used this process, maybe it’s you.

Online dating.
There is no question that meeting like-minded people can be a challenge in this day and age. Relationships in the modern age are less fixed and more fluid than in previous generations and this is borne out in the ever rising divorce rates. Women’s increasing financial independence through their entry into the workforce combined with the weakening of divorce laws have resulted in many more people, such as myself, finding themselves single at the age of 30+. With careers at an advanced stage and/or parental responsibilities present, many simply have difficulties to find the time to meet similar people and the internet certainly opens up the gene pool a little wider.

However there are also plenty of disadvantages in using this medium. It’s far too easy to fall prey to the terminally dysfunctional or worse. People are able to present their identity to people in any which way they choose. Their age, appearance, vocation, marital status and even disposition can be successfully manipulated or concealed so that what you see is what you don’t get. More worryingly of course cyberspace is a hunting ground for perverts stalking the web for girls who don’t know better. Of course there are many people out there looking for thrills with no ties and this is fair enough if you are single and are sensible enough to use the medium carefully. Unfortunately there are many others such as myself who find their own stable relationships in the real world destroyed by your partner chasing the thrill of attention or more from a stranger in the virtual world.


For some, online dating leads to multiple dating or permanent relationships. I’m sure there are many whom have found happiness and fulfillment through this medium and good luck to them. My issue is with just how easy it is to meet people online automatically makes such relationships vulnerable from the start. As both partners met their beloved through the internet, how can either be sure that when the relationship inevitably hits a rocky patch, their partner will not simply go back online for a newer model. This must be a constant source of paranoia within such already contrived partnerships.

Social Networking Sites.

A further aspect on online relationships I had not been aware of until recently has been that of those within social networking sites. From my own perspective the idea of even trying to forge romantic relationships in this way is utterly pointless and self defeating. I purely use them as they are fun a good way of finding out what other people are doing and what is popular and of the moment. Since I started using twitter I have my finger on the pulse of popular culture much, much more than previously and I love the site. Another great thing about such sitesare the way they shrink the world into a single social space making it possible to gain contact with people right across the social spectrum. They are also formatted in such a way as to make it possible to gain contact with people of similar interests, intelligence and disposition. As such relationships can be built on a social level over a period of time with people.


However, difficulties can arise through the ambiguity that can arise by writing in text.
For a start we are stripped of nuance and any ambiguity when we’re deprived of our full arsenal of communicatory gifts. When conversation is left open to interpretation, as is the case when communicating in text, you could write an entire thesis on the potential gaps between what you say and what you mean in cyber speak. If not careful this can result in an imaginative interpretation of what the dialogue between you means. This can lead to ‘friends’ falling out as they perceive another persons innocent words as being a personal slight. More worryingly, it can also lead to romantic confusion and unrequited passions developing between people on such sites. I myself have experienced this in terms of a person who maybe thought my interest in her was something more than merely social. It’s unfortunate and can get a little bit messy. In my case I had to say bye to them, though it paied me as she was a really fun and nice person.

Ultimately, relationships on the internet on whatever level can be great but also present a cornucopia of difficulties. It’s maybe important to understand that such relationship operate and exist on a more shallow and superficial level than that of those in the real world and should be understood for exactly what they are. Fun but virtual and loaded with pitfalls.