Jeremy Fucking Kyle

Jeremy Fucking Kyle.

'The Modern equivalent of a Victorian freak show'

1. Background.

2. Setting the scene.

3. An outrageous pantomime.

4.Why would they do this to themselves?

5. Pick on someone your own size.

6. Who watches this rubbish?

7. Well I never watched it. No really.

Background.

One hour of mindless abuse masquerading as self help therapy presented by a pugnacious git with all the charm of a pissing toad. We are treat to several guests on stage with a poverty of education being grilled mercilously before being hit over the head repeatedly with a book of middle class values. Each story, of which there is three, is divided by benevolent companies promising to consolidate all of your existing loans into one soul destroying millstone around your neck. The Jeremy Kyle show has aired for several years on ITV and draws consistenly high viewing figures for a mid-morning TV show.

Setting the scene.

Crouching down on the steps with his legs akimbo like he has a pair of prickly pineapples for testicles, the man with the card in his hand looks up an talks in an inquisitive but sympathetic manner to the lone figure visibly squirming on stage. The tequnique he employs is bog standard tea and sympathy counselling. This is disingenous though and is merely employed to lull the guest into a false sense of security. The truth is that anything they say will be taken down and used to hammer somebody into the ground later, maybe them.

Then the second guest and the precieved villain of the piece appears to a chorus of boo's like a man handed the death sentence before he has even had time to read his opening statement. Kyle hovering round the stage like a vulture eyeing his prey. After a few minutes of token prodding and probing he then launches himself with self righteous indignation at the guests spouting molten horseshit in their direction. It's ugly. They try to defend themseles but it's futile, a tidal wave of vitioloic bile is washing all over them and there is no escape. To compound matters this is then followed by the General Custar effect as the audience weighs in, being very careful to toe the line already established by the inveterate little shit. Of course this is all much to the delight of the free ticket brigade whom hae no doubt all lived faultless lies themselves.

'..and next we will be talking to Gary from Swansea who claims his finacee Beverley has cheated on him with the brass section of the local Salvation army. We'll be back after the break'.

An Outrageous Pantomime.

Put simply, the Jeremy Kyle show is the modern equivalent of a Victorian Freak show. They used to trawl them around from town to town in cages for people to point and sneer at, now they just put them on national television. The self help aspect of the show is merely a ruse to justify the vitriolic onslaught for the purposes of light entertainment.
Any advice imparted is doomed anyway. He knows it, we know it and I suspect the only people who don't are the terminally self unaware people on stage. The underclass need a high level of stress and conflict in their lives just in order to feel alive. Sex, intoxicants and conflict are the riches of the poor. (Shows such as Shameless are accurate and have real authenticity). Also when people lack the inclination or the basic negotiating skills necessary to resolve conflict, matters will not change one iota. Likewise people with a violent disposition are beyond reach within the perameters of a 20 minute TV slot. Violence is largely associated with self pity which is deeply ingrained in the psyche. Perhaps they should replace the lie detector tests with a good old fashioned dose of shock therapy if they want to make a real difference.

Why would they do this to themselves?

The burning question which has to be asked is at what point during a rift or relationship breakdown do people stop and say, ' I know, let's sort this out on national television'? The answer to this is perhaps that an appearance on Kyle is a bit like an ASBO to this demographic. Frowned upon by the public at large but seen as a badge of honour amongst amongst the feckless, it is a brief glimmering moment in the limelight for the terminally ignored and disenfranchised. In a modern society in which fame is seen as the ultimate aspiration, people are so desperate to achieve even a modicum of celebrity that they are prepared to sell whatever they have to achieve it, even their own disfunction. This is screamingly evident in Kyle but also in other shows such as Big brother, Shock docs and even the X-factor. Many people are quite happy to expose their faults and foibles to a mocking world and will revel in the ill gotten exposure.

Pick on someone your own size.

A firther galling aspect of the show is the uneven hand that is being played renders much of the interaction as little more than bullying. While Kyle himself is clearly not a candidate for MENSA he is intellectually superior to the slack jawed guests and it is therefore a no contest when it comes to a challenge. You wonder how this cocky arrogant little Herbert would fare if he was pitted against people whom are actually capable of holding their own in a debate or of stringing together a cohesive argument. There are many philandering politicians who are just as morally bankrupt as the people he encounters and systematically trashes on his rotten show.

Who watches this rubbish?

Car crash TV is a relatively new phenomenom. Tragedy, confusion and conflict makes a great TV spectacle and the element of surprise adds further tension. There is of course the added element of fascination in seeing how other people (mis)conduct their lives.

What is perhaps not as evident is the self validating aspect of such shows. Nobody is perfect and viewers are able to draw comfort from the fact that no matter how disfunctional they may be, they are far more together than the socially and morally confused rabble on stage. 'Oh my God, I'm not like that, I don't do that therefore I'm better than them', screams the subconcious to the ego. By subconciously placing others beneath yourself you boost your own self esteem. While hardly noble, this is an undeniable aspect of human nature and this show delivers it in spades.
I guess you have to ask yourself how you would feel if someone higher up the social spectrum socially and culturally were to look at your life with such mock and disdain. It's all relative.

Well I never watched it. No really.

Whilst these shows are hugely popular and successful I consider them to be an embarrassment and endemic of the culture of criticism in modern society. Wat lowers this show beyond the playful put downs on TV talent shows is the style and tone ofthe abuse being dished out. At times it is vicious and is always dealt with utter contempt.
Every generation has TV shows which are looked back upon and it is wondered how they ever got away with showing it. There are a few but I consider Jeremy Kyle to be the outstanding candidate for this generation. A boiling sea of bad taste delivered by a smug and utterly charmless little Hitler.